Laurie Mustard / Winnipeg Free Press
Mustard plans to let this houseplant grow wild, but he is worried it may take over his home.
Waaaay back in the 1970s and '80s, when I co-hosted the Wake-Up Winnipeg Show with Red Alix on CJOB for 11 years, there was a very nice gentleman working there by the name of George McCloy, who every Sunday morning hosted a program called The Shut-Ins Show.
It was directed at the elderly and others who for whatever reason were not able to get out and about, so George spoke directly to them, and played them music he felt would cheer them up.
Some of it was beautiful indeed, but in my humble opinion, some of it was the most gawd awful depressing stuff you ever heard, and the only way to escape it was to shut your radio off and sit in total silence, or maybe turn on your TV and get yelled at by some fire and brimstone preacher.
Now George, no offence intended, but I do think you may have gone a little over the top when you voiced those funeral chapel spots to run in the show. Nothing cheers you up more when you’re sick and trapped than a funeral ad.
Make no mistake, I’m not grinding my old buddy George, he was a class act, with a great sense of humour, and if he were here to read this now he’d no doubt chuckle, make a funny face, and maybe even feign a move to give me a slap upside the head, which I’d deserve. I really enjoyed my years there.
There was no way of knowing at the time that one day the whole world would be able to relate to the Shut-Ins Show, and absolutely have had it up to here with this isolation thing.
Don’t know about you, but I’m going a little battier, and in fact, even my plants are climbing the walls.
I love my plants, and respecting individuality as I do, I let them do anything they want. But I’m realizing I may have to have a serious chat with one of the plants shown here today, because he or she is shooting for the moon Alice, and I can’t see that being a good thing for my wall.
It started with a little shoot heading toward the sunny window, the shoot then got on the window blind cord, and away we went. Everything on this plant used to hang. No more. Solution, I’m going to stick a rod in the pot, remove the new vines from my window and wall, hang them on the rod, and let them follow their dreams. Or, it might be neat to put a lattice on the wall above the windows, and let the new vines grow along that. Might look great.
Another of my plants is acting up as well (I don’t know the official names for any of these babies), by growing enthusiastically down, and beginning to head out across the floor. I call her Rapunzel. I’d take her out for a trim, but with the lockdown — no can do. I’d trim her but I don’t know what effect that would have on her, and I don’t want Rapunzel’s demise on my hands.
I can see a Google search in my future.
No question shut-in mode is definitely a challenge, and we have a ways to go yet. But with numerous vaccines turtling our way, the end is definitely in sight. So what could you do today to pass some time productively?
You could do as I did a couple of weeks ago when the blades on my ceiling fans were dusted. They were so loaded it also inspired me to change my furnace filter. I’m even going to give vacuuming the ductwork a try — it can’t hurt and I’ve got time …
Play us a cheery tune George — boy do we need it.
Comments and feedback always welcome!
lmustard1948@gmail.com
