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Renovation & Design

Moving day coming for angry wasp nest

Mustard hopes to take the sting out in a humane manner

Photos by Laurie Mustard / Winnipeg Free Press

Mustard found out the hard way there is a wasp nest in his porch.

An abandoned nest in Mustard’s shed.

There is a big — and getting bigger everyday — wasp nest attached to the underside of the roof of my porch, through which I pass to enter and exit my house.

I discovered it by being stung on the back of my neck a few days ago.

"OW! What the heck was that?" I never did see the wasp, didn’t see the nest either, just continued on into the house and forgot about it. My neighbour spotted the nest the next day. Well that explained the sting.

Now what to do? It’d be easy if I wanted to kill them, but I don’t. They are a very hard working little community, building a lovely house, and just want to be left alone to do their thing. I respect their right to do that, just leave my neck alone while doing so.

So I’m going to try to move them. Back to Darwin Award country. Nevertheless, I’ve researched, and it can be done.

Apparently you wait until after dark, when they are all in the nest and asleep. Then, you cautiously pull a sturdy plastic bag up around the nest, and either squeeze it off, or cut it, so the nest settles into the bag, while you grip the top tightly so as to keep all the residents totally contained.

Then you take the bagged nest out to a local wooded area, set it down gently on its side, and run like hell!

Actually, in one of the successful removals I read, the guy used an ice cream pail with a lid used to cut off and enclose the nest, and then he used a fairly long stick to slide the lid off later, the wasps hadn’t even woken up.

There are various evidence-based techniques for accomplishing these transfers, it is probably best both you and I Google a few more before giving this a shot. But I’m going to do it — even wasps deserve a break.

I vividly recall another surprise wasp encounter I experienced a few years ago. I opened the door to a shed in my backyard and came face to face with a massive nest built on the inside of the door, buzzing with angry wasps, from which I did an immediate 100 metre dash, managing to avoid all but one sting. The nest is still there. Scares the you-know-what out of people who open that door.

My most successful and clearly worst wasp nest removal happened at a friend’s farm. He told me there was a huge nest under the siding on his house, and he didn’t know how to get at it. I suggested we back my car up to the wall, run a hose from my exhaust pipe into their entry spot, and gas them out. We set it up, then got walking around the farm talking, forgot about the car running, and pumped in so much carbon monoxide it not only killed the wasps but filled their house with so much exhaust they couldn’t move back in for a week. His wife was NOT happy.

lmustard1948@gmail.com

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