A statue of Hebe, daughter of Zeus, Laurie Mustard wants to relocate closer to the house.
Photos by Laurie Mustard / Winnipeg Free Press
Tyndall stone to help construct a brick patio area for the Hebe statue.
I’m 69 and living in fear.
Soon, I will be forced to leave the comfort and safety of my recliner, to bounce around mercilessly for two months... on the seat of my lawn tractor.
Yes, the growing season will soon be upon us, and my two acres here in beautiful downtown Headingley (actually, there is no downtown Headingley) will soon be knee-deep in gorgeous new green grass, dandelions and weeds, unless I mow it pretty much non-stop for at least two months, maybe more.
I know many of you can relate. A 42-inch cut up against two acres of Mother Nature’s fastest-growing green really isn’t a fair match.
Sure looks nice when it’s done, though. That lasts about long enough to gas up the tractor, clean out the gooey grass built up in the mower deck, check the oil, go to the bathroom and start all over again.
Now, if mowing were the only task at hand, it would be, and sometimes is, fairly enjoyable. Like in fall. Fall mowing is very easy to keep up with. However, that’s because everything is dying and it will soon be winter. I mean, you just can’t win. Don’t like fall. Really dislike... winter.
Because of our relatively short warm season, along with the mowing, every other warm-weather outdoor chore and project has to be tackled as well. As with most of you, I have many.
This is the time of year when you apartment people look especially clever.
I, however, am not the apartment type. The country boy in me has to have space — and yard, lots of yard! It’s just the way it is.
Lots of projects are awaiting me this year, one of them being moving Hebe, who weighs a ton. Hebe, daughter of Zeus, is a big concrete statue I have in the back corner of my yard — got it from a friend of mine who was re-landscaping — and the time has come to move her up to a place of honour, much closer to the house, where she can shine and be appreciated and admired by all.
Besides, having her to view through the window will make me look more sophisticated and worldly, which isn’t easy to do.
She can’t just stand on the grass, so I may have to construct some sort of brick patio area, which makes me think maybe this is a good opportunity to use all that Tyndall stone another friend gave me when he was re-landscaping. Both Hebe and the Tyndall stone were free, which is good, I just had to do the lifting and hauling. So, it would be great to combine them somehow, but it has to be classy. The Red Green look will just not do for this application.
I’ll think on that while I’m working on all the other projects awaiting me. Levelling the front porch and installing the big aluminum awning over the man door on my shed. Does it surprise you that I got this big beautiful awning for free from a giveaway ad? All I had to do was remove it from high on the front of an old North End home where it sheltered the front door area. My 6-5 son Lyle came in very handy helping with that job. Might need him to help put it up, too.
Then, one of my former granary 12-by-16-foot storage sheds has to be re-shingled. I can do that, but it’s not something I’m particularly good at, nor fast at.
I also have to paint the house trim... so much more.
But the most time consuming chore/project interruption of all, that cannot be ignored, is dusting off the 1960 Dodge Polara, to make many, many compulsory life-sustaining trips for maple-walnut sundaes, without which I just may not survive. It’s a jungle out there.
Mow it.
Comments or feedback, love to hear from you!
lmustard1948@gmail.com
