Photos by Laurie Mustard / Winnipeg Free Press
My grandkids are going to be pretty disappointed when I get rid of this old medical exam table, which they were using for a lot of different purposes.
These two typewriters once belonged to former city councilman Bernie Wolfe. I’ve been trying to pass them on for a while, now.
We humans are a fascinating bunch.
Just look at the stuff we keep around our homes. I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.
Actually, I’m never going to see your treasures, so I’ll tell you about a couple of mine. I might even show you a couple that bring enjoyment to me, even though I may never do anything with them and may just pass them on to someone once I feel there’s no more joy to be gleaned from owning it, whatever it may be.
Example No. 1, which may already be gone by the time you read this, is an actual doctor’s examining table, used for years by a doctor who retired and passed it on to a clinic that later passed it on to me. I found it advertised in a "free" ad.
I knew my grandchildren would love watching TV on it, playing doctor and just find it cool to goof around with. They did — and still would — but I need the spot it’s occupying for a 1950’s TV I recently acquired, so it’s out of here.
Sorry kids. Yup, they loving having the back tilted, their feet in the stirrups, a bowl of popcorn in front of them, all while munching through a movie. They’re going to kill me for getting rid of it. But if you keep gathering this stuff, without getting rid of any of it, you become a hoarder — and I’m no hoarder. I just love unique, imagination-inspiring stuff.
Speaking of which, maybe I have a thing for old hospital equipment. I have a pair, one metal and one porcelain, of old receptacles for processed food and drink by-product.
Once sterilized — and I mean really sterilized — these are great to use as drinking goblets for wine, beer or, in my case, club soda. They are especially effective to use in front of company you want to get rid of and even better if you serve them their drink in one. It’s all about the fun.
Example No. 2. I have a beautiful old oak baptismal font. I love it, although I haven’t got a clue what use to make of it, other than enjoy looking at once in a while. I’m a big fan of beautiful wood creations — such as furniture — and this font is just very cool to ponder every once in a while. Maybe I should open the Church of Mustard and book a few baptisms. I could take it on the road, "Have Baptismal Font – Will Travel."
Maybe not. I’ll just keep it for a while till the thrill is gone, then move it along to a new appreciator.
Example No. 3: I have a pair of former Winnipeg City Councillor Bernie Wolfe’s old Underwood typewriters, given to me by his family because they knew they’d be appreciated here. They are. Every time I look at them, I picture Bernie hunched over one of them typing up missives to send to the Mayor’s office — or perhaps a scolding to the media — and just love that these were a couple of the tools used to create the Winnipeg we have now.
I offered them to the Bernie Wolfe School to put on display for the kids there, both because they’re part of Bernie’s history and also to show how quickly technology has changed, but haven’t received a call back. Been a month or so now, but maybe it’ll still happen. That would be the perfect home for these babies. Or City Hall. Come on — history matters!
I still have the unicycle I used to ride around the dance floors of the various hotels I used to play in with my old band, too. I think with a little practice — and a lot of pain — I could ride that thing again. I’m sure I could, I know I could and I will, damn it!
Maybe. Or just teach the grandkids how to use it and stay safe in the ol’ rocking chair on the porch.
Yes, it’s interesting and enjoyable to have some unique stuff around your home to brighten your day once in a while, but having too much — especially when you’re bordering on hoarding — is a very bad thing.
I am currently at about 90 per cent of having gone through every closet, drawer, cupboard, box, container and so forth in this house and have sold, given away or thrown out what I don’t need. Now I can pretty much picture the contents of any storage space or container in my home sweet home. And let me tell you, that feels good.
Next, the storage sheds and big 42 x 60 foot shed in the yard. I mean, I’ve already done some downsizing from them, but you know — it’s so worth it.
And if the doctor’s examining table isn’t gone by the time you read this, you’re welcome to it.
Comments or feedback, love to hear from you!
lmustard1948@gmail.com
