Laurie Mustard / Winnipeg Free Press
Forget about all season tires — if you're going to be driving in the winter conditions, saddle your puppy with a foursome of winter treads!
Susan Walsh / The Associated Press
Be careful not to push yourself too hard when you go out to shovel that snow.
COLIN CORNEAU / BRANDON SUN FILES
For reasons that defy logic, most people leave the hanging of their Christmas lights to the last minute. Not these keeners, though.
Thank you, winter, for arriving slowly this year.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your tardiness has given us more time to procrastinate on the many chores we have to do around the house and yard in preparation.
Winterizing the house is one such chore. If you go over to the bottom of your entry doors, light a match and the cold breeze blows the match out, you know you’ve got some work to do. Or not — depending on whether or not you mind paying high heating bills and visiting with the mice that come through "the gap". Everything is a choice — be happy.
Included in that winter prep may be getting those Christmas lights up. But will most of us take advantage of the warm weather to do it? Nope. We’ll wait for the first snowfall, when temperatures are dropping down below zero to go out and do it. That’s what humans do. For some reason we want our hands freezing from that ugly wind chill to put those lights up. The lights seem to shine a little brighter and look a little more Christmasy if we suffer some to hang them. Good for us.
I don’t do Christmas lights anymore — I guess it’s kind of a "been there done that" thing — but some people do an amazing, gold-medal job of decorating their home and yard with them.
I’ll be doing a couple of columns featuring some of those homes, and finding out what motivates people to make that kind of effort.
Applause to those who do. You make the cities and towns look a lot more cheerful through the dreary winter months.
And applause to those of us who don’t, because we provide balance. Balance — and being regular — are good.
Once you’ve got the lights up (if you’re so inclined), there’s a car to winterize.
After all, you’ve got to be able to get back and forth to that sparkly home trouble-free.
Should you join CAA so you’ve got a frozen white knight to come to the rescue? Your call.
But how’s your battery? If you’ve got a weak battery, it’s going to leave you stranded when it will piss you off the most. You know it will. Replace it now. End of story.
And then there are the tires. These days, according to the experts (probably hired by tire manufacturers), you need not two, but four winter tires — and not all-season. Nope, you need the ones that stay softer and grip better when it’s really frigid out there.
And they’re right, they are better. But if you’re a lousy driver, you’re going to expect those winter tires to cancel out your incompetence and keep you from having an accident, but they won’t. You’ll still crash. Again, end of story.
However, if your battery is good, your tires have good tread, your antifreeze is effective on a Donner Party level, your heater works (especially the defrost part) — and these days, you’ve treated your engine with zero whatever synthetic oil for easy starting — you’re pretty much set. It’s still good to have the block heater functioning well, too, though.
In the old days, it was cheaper to prepare your car for winter. You only had to have two winter tires and frost shields meant your heater didn’t have to work, if you didn’t mind freezing while driving around. Good times.
Y’know what’s really worth doing? Putting together a winter clothing (and boots) backup kit to keep in your ride, in case you do get stranded in some wickedly cold remote location. I don’t do it, but I know it’s a good idea.
Winter prep, let’s see... what else? Oh yeah, if you have heart issues, or even if you don’t but you’re at an age where all that junk food might decide it’s finally time to take you out, get a festive permanent marker (I’m serious here) and print "HEART" on your shovel where it’s easily seen and pay attention to it.
Each year we lose way too many people to shovelling snow, when giving the kid next door $20 to do it would have left us healthy and warm inside, watching that annoying kid busting his or her butt on your behalf. Shovel smart.
The Christmas tree thing? I’m not doing that this year either.
A friend of mine, Jeanie, told me, "Well Scrooge, why don’t you compromise by buying a small live Christmas type tree in a pot, decorate it a bit, then plant it when the weather allows?"
That sounds perfect. I’m in!
lmustard1948@gmail.com
